Aftermath

I find myself lost in the aftermath of the chaos I myself have blasted, unaware of the carnage it would bring. I am weak. You’re twice the man I am, or I’ll ever be. I give in. I run when I feel storms approaching. I hide when I fear I could not handle it if it were to rush upon me. Precaution has nothing to do with cowardness or fear. It’s all my fault and all the pain you breathe and all the insecurity that slices your flesh and bones and tears your soul apart is caused by me and only me. I am the only one to blame. And love is a lot like trust. It may take years to build, but only a moment of weakness to set its roots on fire and lose it forever, in the blink of an eye. All that counts is endlessly too frail. I can only regret not being strong enough to protect its roots instead of crushing them. The most common mistake we make is taking people for granted. Another one, equally common, is running away when you’re afraid of what might be. It’s wrong, but sometimes you can’t help it. And you ruin everything. A rope, once cut and tied again, will never be as strong. The weakness will stare you in the eye and hold upon your shoulders its imminent breakdown. But I am the one to blame, and it’s too late. The damage has been done. I’m sorry. I ran not because I didn’t care, but because I cared so much it frightened me to the very core. I am too weak to deserve you. But i do know now that I love you infinitely more than I care for myself.