We know what we are but we know not what we may be

We, humans, are strange creatures. The strangest of all. We change constantly trying to define ourselves, trying to find out what we are and yet, we die a little every day trying to fulfill our dreams, trying to become what we want to become or what we think is right. Unfortunately, sometimes we lose ourselves on the way. There are times when we try so hard to be what others want us to be that in trying to change for them, we lose the very essence of ourselves. Then, looking back on what we used to be like and what we are now, we find nothing but a stranger, looking at us shily and reproachful, shouting ‘traitor!’. But it is the law of nature. We change every minute, for every contact leaves a trace…
In the ansamble of what modern civilization stands for, whatever the angle from which we look, we have to realize that everything appears more and more denaturated and falsified. These are the marks of time. Thisway, of we want to go to the most profound reality of ourselves, we can say with all certainty that the end of an inner stage is not and will never be anything else than the end of an illusion.
We always try to be what we MUST be. It’s in our nature to tend to perfection. Even from childhood we are given different patterns and we are told what we must be like, as if our life and personality have already been decided. In time, these patterns, along with the great expectations the others have from us come to a point when they emprison our spirit in our body. Sometimes, you feel lost. Trying all the time to be what you should be like instead of being who you really are destroys little by little your self confidence, until you reach a point when you feel like there is nothing more you can do to make it better, that whatever you do will never be good enough, that there is nothing left to mak a difference, you will never be able to rise up to the expectations. All there is left then is silence, dust and the bitter taste of defeat…
When you have lived your life in the dark shadow of the guilt of constantly disappointing the people you love most, you no longer know what you are, but what you should be and you are not, and, sadly, you may never be.
You cease to live for yourself, you kill your soul by daily tortures and asfixiation, always trying to touch the intangible, until you wake up one day with nothing left to think about, no hopes, no dreams, no aspirations, and you either give up, accept having been defeated by life, or you start asking questions and search for solutions.
The ‘revival’ is a very difficult and painful process. You have to rediscover yourself, to find out your real nature. It takes a lot of courage, and, most of all, it takes time, but it is an experience that everyone must go through, at least once in a lifetime. Every obstacle makes us stronger and with every time we stand up, we stand higher, and with every time we rediscover or reinvent ourselves, it becomes more and more clear what we are.
It is impossible for a man to be, to remain the same. Time passes through us shaping us constantly, making us stronger and providing us with the means to define ourselves.
What we are we will never be again and what we will be, we have never been before.
The scars from our soul have the role of proving us that the past was real and are also responsible for what we are today. Tomorrow instead, apart from not being promised a day, always brings new things, forcing us to change, to adapt to new situations and necessities.
In conclusion, the present is the only certainty we have. The best time, the best place. If we are lucky, we know what we would like to become, but, most frequently, ‘we know what we are, but we know not what we may be…’